Warning: Something is Bad

Civil defense sirens, also known as tornado sirens, are pretty much the most useless warning devices ever invented. You hear the wail, and it means: Something Very Bad is happening, but we can't tell you where, when, or what. Enjoy!

I mention it because during this week's severe weather, I heard one of the aforementioned sirens going off across the lake in New York. I had no idea what it specifically meant. Was it just an alert about the coming storm? Does it mean tornado possible? Tornado sighted? Tornado in my back yard? Osama bin Laden at Aubuchon Hardware? Hellfire and brimstone raining down over a soon-to-be post-apocolyptic Lake Champlain?

I have an unobstructed view to the Adirondack mountains, and all weather comes from the west, so I gathered emergency supplies and watched the sky. In the year 2000, I'd like to see an automated IM, text message or twitter service to supplement the siren and tell me exactly why it's being sounded so I can decide whether to hunker down in the basement or play in the rain.

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